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quote, text

Epiphany

09.27.09 | Comment?

Critic:

You’ve made the right choice.
Believe me, today is a good day for you.
These are tough decisions, I know.
But we intellectuals, and I say “we” because I consider you as such,
must remain lucid to the bitter end.
This life is so full of confusion already,
that there’s no need to add chaos.
Losing money is part of a producer’s job.
I congratulate you.
You had no choice.
And he got what he deserved for having joined
such a frivolous venture so lightheartedly.
Believe me, no need for remorse.
Destroying is better than creating,
when we’re not creating those few, truly necessary things.
But then is there anything so clear and right
that it deserves to live in this world?
For him, the wrong movie is only a financial matter.
But for you, at this point, it could have been the end.
Better to quit and strew the ground with salt,
as the ancients did, to purify the battlefields.
In the end what we really need is-
some hygiene, some cleanliness, disinfection.
We’re smothered by images, words and sounds
that have no right to exist, coming from, and bound for, nothingness.
Of any artist truly worth the name we should ask nothing
except this act of faith: to learn silence.
Do you remember Mallarm√©’s homage to the white page?
And Rimbaud, a poet, my friend, not a movie director.
What was his finest poetry?
His refusal to continue writing and his departure for Africa.
If we can’t have everything, true perfection is nothingness.
Forgive me for quoting all the time.
But we critics – do what we can.
Our true mission is -
sweeping away the thousands of miscarriages that everyday -
obscenely – try to come to the light.
And you would actually dare leave behind you a whole film,
like a cripple who leaves behind his crooked footprint.
Such a monstrous presumption to think
that others could benefit from the squalid catalogue of your mistakes!
And how do you benefit from stringing together
the tattered pieces of your life?
Your vague memories, the faces of people
that you were never able to love.

Guido:

What is this sudden happiness that makes me tremble,
gives me strength, life?
Forgive me, sweet creatures.
I hadn’t understood.¬† I didn’t know.
It’s so natural accepting you, loving you.
And so simple.
Luisa, I feel I’ve been freed.
Everything seems so good, so meaningful.
Everything is so true.
I wish I could explain.
But I don’t know how to.
So. Everything is confused again, as it was before.
But this confusion is – me.
Not as I’d like to be, but as I am.
I’m not afraid anymore of telling the truth,
of the things I dont know, what I’m looking for and haven’t found.
This is the only way I can feel alive and
I can look into your faithful eyes without shame.
Life is a celebration.
Let’s live it together!
This is all I can say Luisa, to you or the others.
Accept me for what I am, if you want me.
It’s the only way we might be able to find each other.

- 8 1/2 IDEATO E DIRETTO DA FEDERICO FELLINI

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